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We went to a tournament in Fayetteville this weekend. The entire Sellers family; John and Jennifer, Sarah, Hannah and Ben competed in the white/yellow belt divisions for their age group. Heidi Mullins also made the trip for her first competition.
Early in the day I was able to give Ben a big hug when he walked out of the ring carrying his two trophies. Because I was judging in another ring, I didn’t have the opportunity to see all of our guys compete. I caught little glimpses in between the action in my ring. But all of the LRMA students came home with two trophies each.
That is not what this is about.
While placing and winning a trophy is great, what impressed me was that these students got out on the floor and competed. I realize that many of our students could not make the trip because of other commitments or finances. But I wonder how many did not even consider competing because of fear.
Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown.
How often do we keep ourselves from experiencing something really great and rewarding because of fear?
I wish you could have seen the huge smiles on our guys’ faces after their events. Yes there was fear, trepidation, nervousness beforehand. But that was overcome. Each of them stepped into the ring. They faced their fear.
Look, you can’t grow if you don’t get out of the house. Yes, you may fail. You might mess up. And horrors! Someone might be better than you. So what? At least you got out there and DID something!
To my students that have had the courage to step out on the mats and learn martial arts, I applaud you. So many want to do what you have done and haven’t the courage.
To my students that have competed, you ROCK!
To those of you that are still sitting on the sidelines, what are you waiting for? Here is an invitation…start right now. Take martial arts with us, or with someone else. Martial arts or ballet, soccer or oil painting, it doesn’t matter. Take this time you were given on this earth and grow in courage and confidence by getting off the couch!
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I’ve been getting some feedback from my students about our conditioning warm-up. Some of the feedback has been non-verbal and consists of groans and rolling of eyes when I tell the class to “grab a jump rope”. However, a couple of the students have been so enamored of jumping rope that they have written about it!
Richard Schreiber wrote a journal entry today on the LRMA site:
“I am new at jumping rope. I can play every musical instrument invented except for drums and flute, I got a pilot’s license, manage a multi-million dollar company, owned a restaurant at age 23, fathered children, am a happily dutiful clergy spouse, can cook, and was an usher at the International Barbershop Quartet Convention. I am terrible at jumping rope.
I am getting better. I started this new hobby in August when I re-upped at LRMA. In the days of Mr. Hudson and Mr. Turley real men didn’t jump rope…and then Mrs. Ray came along. In August I couldn’t get that rope around twice, now I can make it 30 seconds or so before that little timer in my brain says, “Miss it, and miss it”!
Pre-school girls can jump for hours and giggle at the same time. All of the women in adult class skip over the rope perfectly timed to the thumping music on Mrs. Ray’s iPod.
And then there’s Mrs. Ray. She doesn’t jump rope like a girl. She jumps like a person possessed, in double time, occasionally glancing at the clock wondering if we should go another couple of minutes.
Someday I hope to be good at jump rope. Not like “Cinderella dressed in yellow”. Maybe like, ”Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee“.
Jennifer Seller on Face book yesterday:
“I can honestly say I HATE JUMPROPES!!! I WILL CONQUER THE JUMPROPE!!!”
So what is the deal with jump ropes?
With the advent of the New Year, I’ve been on a mission to get back on my workout routine. After my test December 11, I took a few weeks off from training. (The fact that I couldn’t walk on my right heel for a couple weeks did have something to do with that decision. Four inches of wood for a board break did more damage to my heel than the boards)
The break was nice, but time to get back to the routine. If you there on December 11, you probably noticed that cardio and conditioning was a major component of my 5th Dan test. If you weren’t there, let me just say that I was really glad I had been working hard on cardio and being in shape. If I hadn’t, I would not have survived the test.
One of my favorite conditioning warm-ups came from Master Dring. It includes jumping rope.
Two years ago I went to Master Dring’s for a workout at noon. He told us to get the jump ropes out. Ten minutes later I was a ball of frustration and my toes had welts on them. I felt awkward and uncoordinated, and I was not a happy camper. I chalked it up to a frustrating day, and forgot about it.
The next class…same thing. And I was just as awkward. Plus I was gasping for air. In retrospect, I might have been winded because I was holding my breath while trying to concentrate on jumping rope without bruising my feet.
By the third class in a row, it became evident that jumping rope was going to be part of the workouts with Master Dring.
When I got back to the school I got online and ordered 30 jump ropes. If I was going to have to jump rope, I was going to learn how to do it. If I was going to learn how to do it (because it was good for me, right?) then my students were going to jump rope also.
Here is the thing about jumping rope. If you are in my classes, you have probably figured out that jumping rope is going to be a part of your future. It’s a great way to get cardio in, and it works on footwork and coordination. I don’t think it’s the cardio that is the challenge (although I could be wrong) I think it is the coordination and footwork that is causing the problem. Yes, I do see the clenched jaws and frowns of frustration on my student’s faces. I know learning this new skill feels awkward. Been there myself.
It took a while, but I was eventually able to jump for 30 seconds or so without whacking my feet to shreds. That is when it started to be fun. There was the challenge of how long I could go without tripping. Could I make it all the way through “Right Round” or “Boom, Boom, Pow”? There are variations with the footwork and rhythm….feet together…two each side then two together…knees up…slow/fast….
So now we put the jump rope together with Master Dring’s’ conditioning workout.
This is the “getting back in shape” version:
1 minute jump rope, then 30 seconds each jumping jacks, shuffles, squats, mountain climbers, pushups, ab work.
We do three rounds. It takes less than 15 minutes.
That is going to be the warm up for the next few weeks. Fair warning!
The “getting into better shape” version:
We will work up to 2 minutes rope, 1 minute each of the rest of the components.
By our next test in February everyone is going to be in much better shape. Hang in there with me guys!
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I have not been getting journal entries posted. I’ve started several (no points for that though) but haven’t finished them.
So instead of trying to write something really deep and meaningful, I’m just going to jot down a couple of thoughts.
Life gets in the way all of the time… Schedules, relationships, health, finances, motivation…all of these change. I’ve sat in my office and listened, and cried, with my students, parent s of students, or friends during the last year while they have gone through the turmoil of change.
It’s life. I’ve gone through some pretty difficult times myself. All of the above in fact, all in the last year. But I know my experiences have made me wiser, and hopefully, more of a resource for those that need me.
Time Management…..
Where does the time go? And yes, being a fine example of Adult ADHD does not help the situation at all. I’ve got as many hours in the day as everyone else. I also realize that all those things undone stress me out and make me even less productive. My priority, my goal, for the next 60 days is to develop that skill, both for myself and for my staff. I’ve got my Franklin Covey Day Planner; it’s just that I keep leaving it wherever I am not.
Eating. Food. Weight.
How many times have I lain awake, beating myself up for what I ate that day? Most of my life my weight has fluctuated with my emotions and injuries. Always excuses.
This year of the UBBT that changed. I’ve had injuries. I’ve kept training. I’ve had more emotional stress in the two years than I ever thought possible. I’ve kept to good eating habits. My weight continues to drop, I’m healthy and strong.
This is the 500 pound gorilla that has been in the room with me forever. It’s the 500 pound gorilla that so many of my students and friends struggle with. I’ll be writing more on that.
Exercise Discipline…
I’m consistently working out five days a week, either when I teach class, or going to Master Drings or Master Edwards . I’m climbing Pinnacle and/or running the base trail once a week when possible (when it’s not raining). I’m in better shape than I have been for years. I’m still trying to find a good balance between pushing myself and killing myself though. I do like a challenge….
I’m A Student…
How can I be a teacher if I am not a student? I’m reminded every time I train with my instructors how important it is to have the humility to empty my cup of knowledge. It’s so very easy to stay in my safety box of knowledge and only do the things that I do well. Getting out on the mats and looking and feeling like a fool is difficult. I’m not going to say I enjoy it, but I know it is necessary. And, if I am not willing to try and fail (also known as learning) how can I expect my students to?
Friends and love are important…
I am so very blessed to have friends that love me. More on that later also, because the older I get the more I realize how important those friendships are.
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Tom and I were walking through Hilo this morning, after our cup of coffee at his favorite coffee shop. He asked me what I had learned in the two days that I have been here. For those of you that know Tom, you know that one of his gifts is pulling information and thoughts from you. It would have been very easy for him to tell me what I was experiencing. But that is not the kind of teacher he is.
So here, maybe more for me than for those who might read this are some thoughts and impressions from my first two days in Hawaii.
To my knowledge, I haven’t seen a single tourist. By walking to and through town, I smell the flowers; experience the rain on my skin and in my hair. This is not the place for blow dryers and makeup. Light rain, and then few minutes later the sun is out. We walk over bridges and stop to see the water coursing over the rocks. We have spotted a few turtles swimming in the calm water at the foot of the falls. Thick jungle right in the middle of town.
I’ve walked on lava. I’ve seen the plume of smoke and flare of fire from a volcano that has killed, and will surely kill and destroy again. The sun was setting, clouds in the sky tinted with yellow, orange, and purple. Black lava as far as I could see, I wondered if this is what the surface of the moon looks like, hard, barren, surrealist shapes silhouetted against the sky.
When I turned around, and we walked back towards the road, bright green, red and gold lights were flickering between the palm trees. The lights were strung around top of a simple bar, with no walls and no doors. Nine bar stools, a few were occupied by men enjoying the Monday evening. We could hear music close by. Tom asked if it was a private party? We were told that it was, but we were welcome.
We sat a picnic bench in front of a garage at the end of a road, the volcano within site. Dogs and children played around us. A sound system was set up, and we listened to native music performed by incredibly talented natives. The audience? Uncle Ralph, the patriarch of the clan. He sat in a golf cart, his skin almost as dark and craggy as the lava field a few yards away. A middle aged woman, several teen age boys and girls. Perhaps eight little girls and boys under the age of 10 were scattered in the yard.
Gabriel arrived a few minutes after we did, the only other Caucasian in the group. Tom of course immediately asked for his name and engaged him in conversation. Gabriel was originally from St. Louis, had bounced around, a few years here, a few years there. He looked at a map a few years ago, decided he wanted to live in Hawaii, and here he was. He works in a grocery store a mile up the road.
When we ate, the teenagers were next to us. They laughed and chatted, obviously happy to be there. I couldn’t help but wonder what some of the teenagers would have been doing on a Monday evening in Little Rock. Plugged in by ear buds to music on iPods, on the computer, watching TV, playing video games? Would they have been happy to be with family, listening to folk music and just talking?
The open walled garage was painted white, and decorated with street signs and prints of Jesus. The smell of food wafted on the breeze, the Christmas lights of the bar were within site. Music. Dirt under my feet. Another world.
Earlier, I had walked through a jungle, orchids brushing against my hair as we followed a narrow path. We crawled through a hole into a cone shaped lava cave. I’m not kidding, a lava cave. A natural steam room in the middle of the jungle. We sat on wood planks fashioned into benches on the lava rocks. I look up through a small hole at the top of the hot lava walls and could see the blue sky. Two days before I was in Little Rock, Arkansas. It is almost more than I can comprehend
We went to a park, with coves and lagoons for swimming. You’ve heard that expression “sink or swim”? Tom handed me a snorkel mask and jumped into the water. It took me a little more time because, yet again, I was walking on lava rocks. I was being very very careful as I walked. Once in the the water I put the mask on. Or I thought I did.
Ummm….about snorkeling. My last experience was very brief, and in Cancun about 15 years ago. Needless to say I didn’t know what I was doing. It is a pretty simple concept, obviously, but I still managed to screw it up.
So picture this. I’m in the water, Tom is already swimming around saying “look at that one it’s huge!” and I’m still trying to get the mask on. I ducked my head under water and just about drowned. Thankfully I could still stand up. Tom pointed out that the mask was supposed to go over my nose. Oh.
Got the mask on correctly, and again put my head under water. Right there in front of me was a humongous turtle. Did you know you can hyperventilate underwater with a face mask and snorkel? Did you know it is not fun?
All I could think about when I saw the turtle a foot away from me was, does it have teeth? Does it bite?
It drifted away. Tom was like a little kid, pointing out more turtles, each bigger than the previous one, or at least that is what he said. I was still adjusting to the snorkeling thing, but I did manage to swim around and follow a couple of the turtles.
Coffee this morning. While Tom was on the phone I talked to Jas. Strikingly beautiful blue eyes with dark skin and hair, and a smile that light up the shop when we walk in. She is 26 and works two jobs. She lives a very simple life, as many in Hilo seem to do. In her free time she surfs. She named all of the beaches, her face and voice animated. Work and surfing. I thought about her counterparts in Little Rock. Work and …what? Kids? Clubs? What kind of car to buy? How do I step up the corporate ladder?
Tom and I talked on the way back. We talked about Jas. There is a part of me that admires those that find joy in simple, that find joy in nature and just being. I’m drawn to the concept of escape from the world as I know it. I’m drawing peace and strength from the air and water and soil of this place.
But I also know that I would become bored and restless. I have work to do. I’m still trying to process what that work is, but I know that I want to leave some type of footprint on this planet when I’m gone. Tom Callos is leaving not just one footprint, but many. My UBBT team members are doing life changing work. Brian, Rori, Gary, Joe, Dan, John, the list goes on and on.
Lately I’ve become very aware of the passage of time. My body may be edging towards the 52 year mark, but I don’t feel old. Well, at least not very often. But I am becoming more cognizant of the fact that I am very probably past my half way mark of time on this planet. Am I being egotistical to think that I might actually be able to teach, inspire and motivate in some small way? Am I going to follow a comfortable routine, safe and dependable? Am I going to take a few leaps, knowing I could soar, or fall flat on my face?
I want to leave a footprint when I’m gone. It may have a couple of face plant impressions around it, but I want there to be a footprint to show that I have been here.
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(In my previous post, I described the quad injury and resulting muscle spasms that occurred right after I purchased Little Rock Taekwondo in 2000)
Two years as a school owner, and I could not train. I couldn’t teach. I wasn’t sure I was a martial artist anymore. I admit, right here, that I am a little competitive. And it just killed me to see people that started after I did pass me up in rank. Yes, I know that may be shallow, but it did.
Also during those two years, some other things were going on that created a little stress. My husband Charles had a heart attack, five months later a five way by-pass. We had another business from which I had semi-retired from when I bought Little Rock Taekwondo. During Charles’ recovery, I was doing double duty. A typical day began with me at the surety business at 5am, working through lunch. Then off to the Taekwondo school from 3:30pm to 9:00 or 10:00pm. Worry about Charles, about our family, and both businesses kept me on edge. We experienced 9/11 which not only affected us all emotionally, but affected the martial arts school in a very negative way. We closed our surety business, and Charles retired. My former instructor and partner in the Taekwondo school left and moved to Dallas. We adopted our daughter Keely during this time, and experienced all of the sleepless nights and stress of parents of a newborn.
And the leg injury was always there. Twinges, pain, and spasms when I tried to push myself. I gained weight. I can remember the shame of sitting on the bleachers and watching camps, seminars, the US Team tryouts at my school. I wasn’t participating, I was watching.
For the first time in my life, I could not defeat an obstacle. Believing in me didn’t get it. Focus didn’t get it. Physical strength, mental strength didn’t get it. It is not easy for me to give up. But I did. Two years of hope and disappointment every time I tried to exercise finally defeated me.
Then, I read an article about acupuncture. And I thought, “why not”? I made an appointment, and met Dr. Martin Eisele for the first time. He wanted to know what was going on, not just physically, but emotionally. It took at least an hour for me to fill him in on the soap opera of my life. I started sessions that day. Three weeks later, no pain in the quad.
Martin said that the pain and emotional stress that I experienced with and after the injury had all settled in my quadracepts. The acupuncture sessions released the pain and stress from that area.
I don’t know how it worked, I just know it did. I was able to start training again.
I was thirty pounds overweight and woefully out of shape. All of my staff out ranked me, although none of them had even been born when I received my 1st Dan in 1978. All my friends that I had trained with before the injury were ahead of me. I was the owner of the school; all eyes were on me every time I stepped out on the floor. It was time to start over again.
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In April of 2000 we were working on two on one sparring during the noon class. I was the target, while two of my friends and fellow students were the attackers. A low kick hit my knee from the side and within seconds on was lying on the mat with incredible pain in my knee. Within a week I was recovering from surgery for a torn ACL.
The surgery really wasn’t that bad. I was up and walking around, ditching the crutches within the first few days. I started physical therapy immediately, and felt pretty good about my progress.
Then, while I was doing one of the PT exercises at the therapy center, I felt a strong sharp pain in my quadracepts. A therapist was walking by, and I told him I thought I had torn my quad. “Nah, you couldn’t have done that” he said. So I did some more reps of the exercise and finished up my session.
The pain continued, but none of the therapists seemed concerned. But a few days later, I had the first muscle spasm in my leg. Wow that hurt. And then there was another. And another. Until I was experiencing debilitating leg was spasms periodically during the day and the night. The Doc told me that he wasn’t sure what the problem was, but that I could not have torn my quad. He told me to lay off the exercises, and to do massage and stretching during my sessions instead. I did. The spasms continued.
By now, over two months had gone by, and I couldn’t walk, sit, or lay down without muscle spasms in my leg. I went back to the Doc, and he told me he really didn’t know what to do for me, so he was going to have me try Muscular Dystrophy medicine.
As I left his office, I dropped the prescription in to the trash.
One of my student’s parents was an orthopedic surgeon at University of Arkansas Medical Science. That evening at the school, I told him what was going on. He called his office and got me an appointment to see him the next day. Several tests later, the results were in. I had indeed torn my quad. But the tear was in an unusual place, the “mushy” muscle beside the tendon. Essentially, my quad was unraveling, and we were dealing with a very rare injury. First move was to put me in a full leg cast from the ankle to the groin to immobilize the leg. In the month of July. In Arkansas. I was not a happy camper. I slept in the recliner for the entire month, it was just too difficult to try to sleep in bed. Driving my F-150 truck was a challenge, but I became pretty adept at braking with my left foot. My right foot stayed by the gas pedal since it was impossible to move my right leg.
A month later, the leg cast came off. Within a week the spasms were back. I can’t begin to describe how discouraged I was.
Did I mention that I had just bought the school? I had so much to do, so much to learn, and I was dealing with constant pain and frustration. I had been working out at least an hour or two a day, and now it was everything I could do to walk from my car to the house.
My Doc didn’t want to do surgery, he would have to cut open the muscle, and the tear was in the part of the muscle that would not respond well to stitching. Mushy like the part of the chicken breast next to the tendon was the way he described it. So the advice was…do nothing. Don’t exercise, don’t stretch, try to let it heal. I asked how long this was going to take, and he said he didn’t know.
It took two years. No martial arts, no running, no biking. No exercise at all. Every time I would venture out on the mats to try to work out, the leg would start aching and hurting in the vulnerable area. If I pushed it, the spasms started again.
The saga continues …next week.
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My sister Tracey and I are very close. Not in age, I am the oldest and she is the youngest of four. But in temperament and interests, we are very similar. We are the best of friends. She is my workout partner in martial arts, my confidant, my sounding board. Everything a sister should be, really. We even look alike. I talk to her almost every day. I know when she goes to the doctor, I know when she buys new shoes.
But you know what? She still surprises me.
When I announced the What Is My Tree? Project, I could tell she was not excited about it. As testing drew closer, I was gently reminding all of my students that they HAD to turn in the Phase I of their Tree Project before testing. Two days before testing, she plopped down in the chair across from my desk and said “I want to talk to you about this Tree thing”. The look on her face said it all. She was not happy.
She went on to describe everything she was already doing. And to express her frustration that I was asking her to do more.
When she was done venting (in a very calm and professional way), I explained to her that she was done. She had already done everything needed for the Tree project, all she had to do was write it up. She was already being a leader with her actions, I just needed her to write it up so that others could be inspired by her.
This is yet another case of the teacher learning from the student. The following is the first What Is My Tree? Project report at Little Rock Martial Arts. I’m very proud of my little sister.
____________________________________________________________
What’s My Tree Project
Tracey Campbell
As Ms. Ray knows, I was not thrilled to do this paper (project); I whined and complained for weeks. I explained to her that for twelve years, before recycling was “cool” – I was already doing it. She told me to put the reasons why on paper, so here it goes.
Several years ago, I began reading about the environment and the effect that the use of certain products is hurting the environment and destroying future resources for our younger generation. The average American discards 4.6 pounds of garbage every day. EVERY DAY!!! The garbage goes to landfills and it is buried. The garbage continues to grow and it effects our environment constantly. Recycling reduces the amount of solid waste going into landfills, making each landfill last longer.
After I read that, I began recycling, and made my husband recycle also. Here are some statistics for you:
- Production of recycled paper uses 80% less water and 65% less energy, and it produces 95 % less air pollution than virgin paper production.[1]
- When making cans, using recycled aluminum requires 96% less energy than manufacturing new aluminum form its virgin material, bauxite. Four pounds of bauxite are saved for every pound of aluminum recycled.
- Recycling plastic bottles uses 76% less energy.
- Recycling paper uses 45% less energy. It also saves trees and water; making a ton of paper from recycled stock saves up to 17 trees and uses 50% less water (7000 gallons).
- Recycling glass uses 21% less energy.
Recycling reduces air and water pollution because the recycling process reduces the amount of air pollution produced by power plants and the amount of water pollution produced by chemicals used in the manufacturing process.
When plastics are recycled, you can produce coats, industrial equipment, school equipment, garden furniture, boxes, spare parts on cars…you name it, it can probably be created with recycled products. I just bought a pair of running socks made from recycled water bottles and Mountain Dew bottles! Who would have thought about that?
There are a lot of things that I try to do for the environment, but I admit there are just as many I can do better. I am terrible about buying bottled water; I have bought several recycled, reusable water bottles to take to the gym and TKD class instead.
I am one of those people you see in the store with the reusable, recycled shopping bags; I have those but I still put some things in regular plastic bags. I do take the extra ones back to Wal-Mart so they can be recycled, but the best thing to do is not get them.
What do I do right?
- I pass around magazines when I get through reading them; I refuse to throw them away.
- I take books that I have read to the nursing homes or give them to people who I know will enjoy them.
- I use dryer sheets to polish my furniture instead of throwing them out.
- We have cut down on our paper towel use; we still occasionally use them, but I have several hand towels now that are used more often.
- I always run the dishwasher and washing machine first thing in the morning; that is when the energy and water demand is lower.
- Every room in our house has energy efficient light bulbs. It took some getting use to, but I don’t think we have a regular light bulb in the house.
- You will never see a can, plastic bottle, or newspaper in my trashcan. I recycle everything I possibly can.
So, these are the three levels for my project. I will keep doing what I am doing for the environment and I will hopefully make a difference
[1] I Love A Clean San Diego website
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I enjoy writing. When I’m troubled about something, I’ll do a “dear diary” type letter to myself. Many times the process of putting my thoughts on paper allows me to evaluate a situation and, if not come up with a solution, at least have the facts laid out in front of me to clarify my thoughts.
I’ve enjoyed the challenge of posting a weekly journal as part of my UB BT requirement. I’ve found myself being much more aware of my surroundings, my interactions with others, even more aware of my thoughts because I knew I was going to have to find something to write about each week.
I have not posted a journal in over a month (maybe more, I’m afraid to look). I had good intentions, and have even started a few. All I can say was that I just wasn’t in the mood. I know Tom has said each journal entry does not have to be an inspiring masterpiece, but anything I would have posted in the last month would have been along the lines of “I’m writing this because I am supposed to, but I don’t have anything to say.”
I think I’ve been suffering from thought fatigue. I just have not had the internal strength to take the seed of an idea and flesh it out.
But what I have done is read the journal entries of my students and my fellow UBBT team members. You guys have kept me inspired and motivated when I was out of motivational “gas”.
For me, one of the greatest benefits of UBBT is being able to get inside the head and hearts of our fellow team members. What’s cool is that you do not have to be a member of the UBBT to have access to this incredible resource. When I’m feeling empty, I go to the UBBT journal site to get recharged.
Try it.
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A high school teacher committed suicide a few days ago. He was a favorite teacher of one of my staff members. Almost every freshman had a class with him and there are a lot of hurting and bewildered 14 and 15 year olds in our city today. Sudden death, by suicide or accident, has a lasting effect.
Take the high road.
Sixteen years ago, my mother had a “mild” heart attack. Several days after the attack, she was scheduled for a routine angiogram. I went by the hospital to see her that morning, but had a lunch appointment during the time of the actual procedure. So I hugged her, told her I loved her, and went to my meeting.
The doctor was very honest with her. Usually this occurrence was fatal. Surgery was going to be very risky. They were able to stabilize her, but she needed to see her family quickly, and then they needed to go in and see if they could repair the damage. They waited for me to get there before taking her into surgery.
We told each other goodbye that day. She didn’t expect to live; they couldn’t even give her odds because the surgery was so rare.
As I sat in the waiting room with my family, I thought about a future without her. I thought about the time I had had with her. One of the things that comforted me was the knowledge that my mom knew I loved her. We said those three words every time we talked on the phone or saw each other. And I said it with my actions too. I could sit in the waiting room and not feel guilt or regret about harsh words or hurtful actions.
What I learned from that time was that I did not want to feel guilt or regret if someone died. That may sound simplistic, but that has guided my life ever since. I’m certainly not perfect, and sometimes I slip. But if I say or do something that is hurtful it eats me up until I rectify it.
- But when you are able to make a conscious decision to take the high road, you are the one that benefits the most.
Acts of Kindness are not for those on the receiving end. They are for you.
Forgiveness of wrongs and hurts is for your benefit. It’s much easier to forgive than to live with guilt and regret for the rest of your life.
If someone is important to you, tell them. Write a note. Call them. Hug them and tell say those three words. I love you.
These last few months in the UBBT I’ve had the concept of self defense redefined for me by Tom Callos and my team members. I get it. I get it that eating right is self defense, as is taking care of the environment and controlling my anger and stress. I get it that Acts of Kindness may be the most basic level of self defense.
Why not develop a new habit. The habit of being aware of the people you interact with and their value to you. And develop the habit of telling them those positive things. Those actions may not be enough to change the course of their life, but I guarantee it can change yours.
Postscript:
I called my mom to get the dates of the heart attacks. I told her I was writing something, and would print it out and bring it to her for Mothers Day this Sunday. As we were hanging up she said “You know, having those two heart attacks were the best thing that ever happened to me. Things that used to make me mad don’t anymore. I just forget about it. It’s not worth it.”
I love my mom.
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What Is Your Tree?
Julia Butterfly Hill is an American activist and environmentalist. She lived in a 180-foot tall, 600-year-old California Redwood tree for 738 days. Hill lived in the tree, affectionately known as “Luna” to prevent loggers of the Pacific Lumber Company from cutting it down. She was awarded the Courage of Conscience award October 31, 2002. Julia was born in Jonesboro, Arkansas.
UBBT Coach Tom Callos interviewed Julia recently. You can hear the recording by going to the ubbt site.
What Is Your Tree?
That is the question that Julia asks. What do you believe deeply and passionately about? Anything? Are you willing to actually DO something instead of TALK about it?
Your Tree does not have to be something tied to the environment.
MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers)
Candy Lightner founded MADD in 1980 after her daughter, Cari, was killed by a repeat drunk driving offender. Cindy Lamb—whose daughter, Laura, became the nation’s youngest quadriplegic at the hands of a drunk driver—soon joined Candy in her crusade to save lives.
Susan G Komen Foundation
Susan G. Komen fought breast cancer with her heart, body and soul. Throughout her diagnosis, treatments, and endless days in the hospital, she spent her time thinking of ways to make life better for other women battling breast cancer instead of worrying about her own situation. That concern for others continued even as Susan neared the end of her fight. Moved by Susan’s compassion for others and committed to making a difference, Nancy G. Brinker promised her sister that she would do everything in her power to end breast cancer forever.
Andy Mandell “Mr. Diabetes”.
I had the honor of meeting Andy in Greensboro, AL. A fellow martial artist, Andy, at age 62, just completed walking the perimeter of the United States in order to raise awareness about diabetes and how it can be prevented by a healthy lifestyle. He is the founder of the Defeat Diabetes Foundation, and the author of a curriculum that I will be using at LRMA and in the local schools to educate the public about diabetes.
These are examples of ordinary people that have found their Tree and taken action in a life changing, history changing way. We can’t all make such a huge impact, but we can take steps to change ourselves, our family, our community.
Green Belt and What Is Your Tree
While the concept of finding your Tree goes way beyond the environment, we are going to use it for the title of our Green Belt Project. All students at LRMA are required to complete this project as part of their training to become a Black Belt.
Step One
Pick a subject related to the environment that interests you.
Step Two
Do some research, look into the problem, what caused it, what can be done.
Step Three
Write a report so that you can share with your instructors and fellow students what you have learned.
Step Four
Take action! Do something to make a positive change in for our environment. Start with yourself and your family. Then, how about showing what true leadership is, and make a change at your school, your place of business, the community.
